Hi everyone,
I got double eyelid surgery almost 10 years in my early 20s. I've never been fully satisfied with the results; it depends on the day. I guess I'm like 60% okay with it. I don't regret getting it and sometimes i can even appreciate the results, like when I look directly in the mirror, I think the results are good enough. It's usually only when I've looked at photos or recordings of myself that I notice how high and "sausage-y" my lids below the creases still look after all these years that I start feeling crappy and spiral into despair again.
I'm so torn about whether I want to go through with a revision, and at this point in time, I'd just like to make a decision and be done with it and not have to think so much about it again, i mean it's almost been 10 years. The reason I'm torn is because I'm not entirely dissatisfied with the results (the doc managed to even out my uneven eyes) and I'm scared to risk doing a revision and having it be botched and end up scarred and worse off than how they look now. I've read people's words on the Internet about the depression and despair they've been through over this surgery, and, in my own way, I've been down that road, and the idea of going through the lengthy recovery fills me with dread but to do it all over again on the gamble of much worse, visibly botched results is no comfort. It's horrifying. People always want to look for the silver lining, but the reality is that sometimes the revision does more damage, not to mention I don't have the time, means, and resources to consider multiple revisions. And neither do i want to commit so much of my valuable energy to this anymore.
I wish so badly I can just accept that 60% satisfaction is good enough so I can get on with my life and not have this thing have power over me. Some days, I am okay with 60% and it is good enough. Other days, after I'm looking through photos someone took of me, I'm instantly filled with anxiety over how fake and too high and swollen they look. I wish I wasn't at the mercy of photos triggering my insecurity about my eyelid results.
Is there anyone out there in the same boat, who is on the fence about revision, maybe don't want to do it and want to consider the possibility of accepting our less than perfect results and just moving on with our lives? I personally don't know anybody who's had the surgery and feel quite alone in this. Just hoping to find some pals/a community of support for those of us who feel like this has had a hold on our lives and minds for too long, and want to learn to let go and accept our results and GET ON with our lives.
Please share your thoughts or PM me. We can maybe have an email group if anyone is interested. Thanks for reading.
