locococoa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 Hm, my own mom started pointing out flaws that I didn't even know I had when I was 9. Didn't listen to her because I was a tuff kid, but, that trend really continued. Everyone in my family always pitied how I looked, but exalted me on my other accomplishments. Friends, nope, nothing. Tho even then I realize that as people we're socialized to be really adverse to the idea of...being torn apart by something as futile and fleeting as looks, and to even be ugly--maybe if I asked, they'd say awkwardly "well, you don't look that bad I guess..." but that's it. It'd just be obligatory noise. I don't think I'm ugly, it's just that I'm physically repulsive to guys--which is why so many of them have randomly put me down even when I was just doing nothing and being quiet. Same as in school when boys physically bullied me and called me an ugly pig. And, if the sole feedback I've ever gotten from guys is this, I mean...I can't really deny it. I wish I could but I can't. It just feels foolish at this point. The world isn't a good place for people like me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortunecat Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Kids are also not spared from being called ugly by their friends. My 10 year old niece told me that her friend called her ugly. And do you know what she replied? She replied, "I am pretty. I am not ugly. Its just that my eyes are smaller, that's all.". She is an assetive gal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grvlpx Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 I'm not here to give you meaningless compliments and I'm sure they won't help you anyway, but my HONEST opinion is that you look very normal and have some nice features as well. You don't necessarily have an appearance issue, but a self-esteem issue. Of course, improving your appearance can raise your self-esteem too. People do stupid, meaningless things in high school and bully for no reason, say things that aren't true, etc. I suspect that they weren't bullying you for your appearance but because you were easy to pick on. Almost everyone has been bullied before and you need to understand that they say what they can to put you down and get a reaction out of you, their words can't be trusted! If you still truly believe you're unattractive to others, I want to make it 100% clear that there is no problem with your face. Many, many other factors make up overall attractiveness. Hygiene and posture are extremely important. Teeth can be too, depending on where you're from. And last but not least, confidence is key! if you are constantly feeling sorry for yourself, putting yourself down, and avoiding social interactions, people can sense that and will not want to get to know you. if you look like you're comfortable in your own skin, you look so much more attractive! I'm guessing that you're quite young. This won't make you feel immediately better but, with age you will probably get more comfortable with yourself, and your peers will become nicer too. I wish you all the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locococoa Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 Tbh confidence won't help. Regularly men hate less attractive women with confidence, they form groups around it, and spite them for sport--while lifting up the meeker, cuter girls almost without fail. And, when girls are bullied it's sometimes that they're a weaker target but usually how it boils down is their perceived social value which hinges more off their technical looks; boys that are bullied tend to be just weaker, socially. There's been studies on this; a man can change his demeanor, posture, and/or be more confident and legit will be more attractive and interesting for it, but it's actually seen as (on average) more unattractive and unlikable (to both sexes) the more confidence a woman has.. Could be associated with competence, agency, intelligence...these things on average is considered a unattractive negative trait. The technical dimensions of a woman's body and looks that men actually perceive and value more. Heck. I regularly hear stories of ugly women that try being confident, upping their styles, and...just get unsolicited attacks from men who feel offended at such women--the abuse just ups itself, somehow, even though the woman might not actually say anything. Now, you are right functionally on confidence as it would help me in other areas maybe--but beyond not being awkward, confidence would not at all make me anymore palatable...which I need to be to be happy. And some of those guys that did it...they said those things behind my back, I heard before I entered a room. "____ is so cool and sweet to talk to but I felt kinda bad, her face is so busted and ugly." They acted as if it was tragic. And they didn't really laugh, they just solemnly agreed. What a way to end my high school years of being the girl who valued everything other than looks. Unfortunately, the stupid things people do to others in school is...meaningful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameissue Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 Seriously???? There is not one thing that is wrong with you , you look perfect you look youthful, wee all get bullied and the more we surround ourselves with people that don’t like us they will continue to bully us , don’t change yourself for anyone , I think you might have BDD body dysmorphic disorder , I had the same problem ended up going under procedures and even then the ones who bullied me said I was fake , you are perfect the way God made you , don’t fall into the trap of people telling you how you should look , I had a procedure because I had an underbite class 3 dental malocclusion and even the one who did the surgery was a dentist I was still called fake ugly dysmorpgic , even though I looked good and still look good I’m unhappy and wish that I stayed how I was please do consider talking to a therapist it’s no joke you cannot criticize yourself like that when there’s nothing to be critical of , stay safe from the bullies and the one who loves you will acccept you wether you are perfect or imperfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameissue Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 I think that mirrors have a strange way of magnifying our miniature flaws and imperfections Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameissue Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 [ Please know that whoever gave this advice is trying to sell you on their cosmetic procedures that thrive on making women look unattractive there is nothing wrong with you The only truly wrong thing with you is you look depressed and sad I hope you get advice on that please do see a doctor that specializes in BDD I see a gorgeous young woman that anyone would be happy to be with and look I have no gain in saying that it’s personal experience from unnecessary procedures Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameissue Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 If you feel comfortable losing weight then by all means losing weight would change the facial appearance but one point is take time between checking a meaning after you lose a certain goal go back and check because if you keep checking on how you look in the mirror each single day you will not notice the difference my sister lost 15 pounds and she was bullied at school by her coworkers claiming she had a nose job and is now fake. But I’m sure whoever said that wasn’t referring to you they might have referred to someone else and that comment isn’t worth validation it’s mean and cruel you don’t need people like these in your life just don’t listen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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