blissedthistle Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 After you got your procedure(s), did you really notice any improvement in your self esteem, happiness, and how people treated you? Maybe even sex life? Did your new beauty unlock new gates and that you would never have passed through otherwise? I am debating on getting PS. I am not horrendous looking, but I don't think I am attractive either. I look cute in mirrors, but I cannot look at my photos or random reflections as I walk by buildings without feeling a deep sense of shame. I would like to take advantage of what beauty can offer me while I am still young and single. I work on my other assets as well, such as personality, my education, and my morals, but if beauty can enhance my options in life and love, I would give it a shot. I really hope to hear from you ladies!
kkim120 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I've actually wondered this a lot. When I had my first rhino, i was mostly super self conscious that ppl might be able to tell that i had my nose done. And then when swelling disappeared, I was left looking exactly as I did before rhino, so i never got to experience the difference. I'm going to Korea in a few weeks, if I find my life has changed significantly, I'll let you know. Regarding my own appearance, I'm average. I think i look good in some photos, and with certain styles, I guess I can pull off cute, but I'm not all that pretty either. But that also means I'm not all that confident about my appearance. Some people say confidence comes from within, but I don't think it's true. I get a lot of my confidence from my tube of concealer and eyeliner pencil. We'll see what PS can do
k-couture Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 This is just my opinion but I believe that if we are looking towards plastic surgery to fix our insecurities we are looking at the wrong place. I've come across so many people who just don't know how to love themselves. Who just can't find self empowerment through aspects of their life. I think its one thing to dislike a feature we have and another to hate and be depressed about it. I had a friend who years ago underwent full body liposuction and dropped 20kg following the treatment and the use of dietary medication the hospital provided her with. She definitely looked alot better. But she was still unhappy and insecure with herself. She even told me that guys didn't pay her more attention than when she was overweight and that she doesn't know how to live being skinny because she had been overweight all her life. Within a year she ballooned back up and was indifferent about the weight gain. Then I had another friend who would be uncomfortable looking at the mirror even after she had surgery. There was an incident when we had a gathering and she suddenly came out of the bathroom crying saying that her eyes were uneven. The thing is, no one but her felt that her eyes were uneven. She would also constantly nit pick and be extremely critical of herself, saying she wants to change this and that. I feel that if we are expecting plastic surgery to turn our lives around and make ourselves happy, we are being delusional. First and foremost we need to learn to love ourselves and acknowledge our strong points and what we are lucky to have in life. A good mentality to have would be "I think I will look better if I tweak this feature but it doesn't bother me whether I change it or not", rather than "I hate this feature i want it gone it makes me depressed" Also one of the worst reasons to have plastic surgery is to find a bf/gf. Initially attraction for sure has got to do with looks but then personality really comes into play. No one wants to be with a dark cloud of insecurity all the time right? That's why I always advice my friends who find themselves in this dilemma to fix their mental and emotional state first, then their physical state.
kkim120 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I don't think that's what the OP meant. Speaking for myself, I'm plenty confident and happy in all other aspects of my life. But when it comes to confidence about my appearance, I have to admit that this is where I'm average. This hasn't prevented me from dating, pursue a meaningful career, etc. But it's an area I can see where some improvement couldn't hurt. But if my career, personal relationships, etc. hasn't seen any detrimental effects due to my average looks, does it matter if I get plastic surgery or not? Should I even waste my money, time and go through the pain of plastic surgery when my appearance isn't hurting me in any visible way? This was the question I had before my first (and failed ) rhino. And I think this is the question that blissedthistle is posing. And while makeup, plastic surgery, clothes and other superficial enhancements won't change or help what's inside... when you feel sexy or pretty, you also feel more confident--it backs up whatever you've already got. Anyway, that's my POV on this. Which is why I ended up getting plastic surgery, and am going back to Korea for a revision.
blissedthistle Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 My reason for having PS would be: I can live with what I have, but if I have the option to make my life better, then why not use it? The question is, does the benefits make PS worth it? If someone wanted PS, I would be like "sure go ahead!"... but I don't understand why the decision is so hard for me.
lorihmatthews Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 It concerns me that you say you have a "deep sense of shame" when you see yourself. Plastic surgery by itself will not make you feel better about yourself. That has to come from within. Have you considered talking to a therapist first?
hopefulbliss Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I completely understand how you feel as I'm in a situation that's similar to you. I think that you're probably hesitating because even though plastic surgery has the potential to improve your life, the fact that it is quite expensive and as with any surgery, there are many risks involved. You end up questioning whether it is worth all the time of researching and the trouble to go through with it. My friends/family always say there's nothing wrong with my face, some to the extent that I'm just being "vain" or trying to change myself when I bring up plastic surgery. To be honest, unless you are undergoing major surgery for your whole face/body, a lot of people say they actually feel and look almost the same. In my case, I'm getting double eyelid surgery because I pretty much end up with the same results when I put on make-up, therefore I want to get my eyes done so that I don't need to spend so much time doing makeup. And as others have also similarly mentioned, if you go into surgery hoping it will drastically change your life, that is where many patients end up feeling disappointed after surgery due to the high expectations they had. Not sure if this will actually help you in your decision, but just my thoughts
k-couture Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 i mean its so subjective right? There's plenty of people who are average looking but do well in their career, in relationships etc. In part because of whatever given circumstance they find themselves with and also their confidence and personality. I think perhaps you need to internalize what "making your life better" means to you in terms of the underlying issues which are leading you to contemplate plastic surgery. If your issue is self confidence then I don't believe plastic surgery will change anything as that is an emotional issue. But if you are just plain vain (nothing wrong with that lol), have realistic expectations and generally a happy person then surgery would be a something to consider. I've found one concern for many people who undergo the surgical journey is that they expect certain changes in aspects of their life and end up disappointed when nothing happens in the process. I will admit this is my problem. Reason why I've had so much crap done to my face, is my extreme vanity. The past few years I noticed a pattern in my behavior. All it takes is for a combination of someone to mention one flaw ("your cheeks are looking a bit mariah carey - omg ure right quick quick acculift it out lol") or talk about new procedures available and me being stressed and in a horrid mood to start googling new procedures lol. Then I usually end up getting some tweaks here and there :S. For me personally I began plastic surgery because I, like many, tend to see myself through what I THINK how others perceive me. I used to be in this "everyone thinks im ugly, no guy will hit on me and i'll never get a bf" phase when i was a lot younger. I thought the benefits of surgery would change that but it never did. It wasn't until I went fu#k it I don't give a rats a$$ anymore and focused on self empowerment through advancing my career that I learnt to love myself. Then somehow plastic surgery just became more about maintaining my vanity rather than wanting benefits from it in aspects of my life. I think what I'm doing is fine as I make calculated risks whenever I undergo a new procedure. If I think the potential complications for my situation is too big a risk I just simply move on.
stophammertime Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I have been wondering the same thing recently. I never thought plastic surgery was an option for me, I thought it was something only the ultra rich or very vain do. Then I had a friend who got breast implants, and she is my age, makes about as much as me, and is not vain at all. Never even knew she would want something like that. Anyway, this has made me wonder if I should go through with the nose job I have pretty much always wanted. I feel like I would look better and be happier if my nose was more proportional to my face. But I see so many photos of botched facial work and it worries me. I want to look BETTER afterwards, not worse. I also sincerely wonder if it will make much of a difference. Like, will I be prettier afterwards? Or will I still look pretty much the same and have thrown away thousands of $$$? My friend's boobs look ok, but honestly, I don't think they were worth it... Maybe she feels better, but I don't even notice them. I am worried this will happen if I get my nose done. I would be so disappointed if I just come out of surgery looking like the 6 I was before I went in LOL. Anyway I'll be following your thread, I'm very curious to see what others have to say.
koreasaurus Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I'm pretty comfortable with the way I look so I'm only looking to get minor changes that will save me time when applying makeup. I don't think getting plastic surgery will give me any more confidence and won't change the way people treat me. If anyone I knew were to get surgery, I wouldn't think poorly of them or treat them differently either. I would be more worried about their safety/surgery going okay to be honest lol. I also wouldn't care about their reason for wanting surgery, vain or not.
kkim120 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Yeah, everyone has their own reasons for wanting to do surgery. I remember watching this documentary style report on this Korean American woman going to Korea to do a ton of facial contouring surgery, and while they were getting into it.. .it turned out that she was abused by her ex husband and he broke her jaw back when they were together. Her big jaw was a constant reminder of that abuse, so she cut it down to a lovely v-line. Maybe you should ask yourself, what kind of changes you expect to experience and see if they're reasonable.
avene Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 In my case, PS could improve my life. because, I was victim of bullying in high-school student. they throw me foods and some girls told me "****ing Shrek". I tried to kill my self but every time I failed caz I was so scare to die lol. After graduate, I start diet and I've lose weight about 20Ib. and I will visit Korea for having PS. I want to gain confidence about my appearance, and I believe PS will improves my life
motty26 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 oh my god u are not alone... been there to. my colleague will even call me a walking bulb... if i only got the means i will in a heart beat do PS. superficial may it might sound but yeah will do it to improve my looks.
avene Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Thank you, motty26 U r not alone too, I hope you gd luck with ps!!
riel Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Hi Blissedthistle, I think it's dangerous to have the attitude that plastic surgery will change your life, especially a lot. I think you need to be pretty carefree and basically have a screw-it-all-attitude BEFORE going into surgery because it's really difficult for the surgery to meet your EXACT physical ideals even with an expert surgeon. I don't mean carefree in the sense that you should skip thoroughly researching surgeons and clinics and chatting with others that have experience PS. Hopefully there will be an improvement to your look but if you are mentally a hot mess before surgery then you won't be able to handle the lengthy and sometimes tumultuous healing process and possible disappointments with results. And by disappointing results I don't even mean getting botched...basically having to adjust yourself to not getting exactly what you imagined but being able to get over that hump and appreciate that say your nose was like such and such before and didn't like that, although you didn't get as high a bridge you wanted, the main thing is IT IS higher than before.
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