iljs92 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 So surgery and enhancement to our faces are ultimately our own private choice, but we don't live in isolated societies. I know I shouldn't worry what others think but people will always judge, even the ones we care about such as family. Mostly for me, I worry cause I'm not sure how to tell my future boyfriend I had surgery, anyone have experience in this? Did it just pop up in convo "by the way I did my eyes"... I'm saddened because my choice to get plastic surgery soon was one of the reasons me and my boyfriend recently broke up. He feels I don't need it, its not the only reason for our breakup obviously but it made me realize its something I'll have to talk about in future relationships. I'm only looking to do my eyes so it won't be that much of a change (even though I'm curious of other procedures), but one of my close friends said even if its just one surgery, it already makes you "plastic" and obviously anyone would prefer the natural beauty over the one who got surgery. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k-couture Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I think the question should be: Why would you even want a boyfriend who would be affected and judge you for what you chose to do in the past? Especially before you even met him. You are not committing a crime or engaging in any heinous activities. Simply a lifestyle choice. So any guy who would find an issue over your surgical endeavors (especially b4 you even started to date him) isn't worth your time. I'm someone who doesn't hide the fact that I have had a face full of plastic surgery. I will bring it up casually as part of the conversational flow. Just yesterday my friend's mum asked me why I wasn't smoking and I said its because I had to quit for my Macs Lift. I think when you make a big deal out of it you give emphasis to plastic surgery as an issue. Whereas when you normalize it then it becomes second nature. This applies to people who are against it. They all eventually get used to it when you take it with casual stride. My parents were so against it at first but plastic surgery for me is to please myself and no one else. And after my 2nd set of procedures it was like second nature to them and my mother even started asking me for advice regarding anti aging treatments lol. With regards to boyfriends, I was sort of seeing someone a while back and I had disappeared off the radar because I had buccal fat removal. When I met him a month later he asked me where I'd been and I openly said "recovering from plastic surgery". He didn't even flinch just complimented me on how natural it looked and he just thought i'd just lost weight. While I've never had a negative nor unpleasant reaction, if ever a guy dares to even attempt to judge me or make me feel awkward regarding my choices I would simply kick him to the curb. I don't see anyone as having the right to project their negativity onto my life choices to the point where it affects my emotional state. I mean there's a profound difference between commentary because you care about someone's wellbeing and trying to force your views onto someone else whereby it could potentially upset them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blasian Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I read K Couture's response and I have to say she is spot-on. I dated someone that absolutely hated the fact I wanted to redo my nose ( an initital surgery I had before I met him) and we fought and argued about it. Our relationship was going down the tubes anyway, and after giving things some thought I decided he wasn't the person I should have been involved with. That relationship was holding me back in so many ways and I will not bore you the list of all the things in retrospect was failing. I stayed in it for nearly 3 years and it went nowhere. The moment I left that relationship I went places in life-no lie. The lack of support about the surgery was just one red flag I chose to ignore. In short, if a anyone is going to hold plastic surgery against you, then see that as a warning and start looking at whether this relationship is for you. In my opinion naysayers are not worth your time. You getting surgery should have no effect on your relationship especially if it is your money. My current boyfriend is totally supportive of my decision and feels that I will be just as beautiful after the surgery. I was completely honest with him about what I have had done and honest about him with what I plan to do this year. And he is still here and our relationship has not suffered one bit. If you choose to share with people you have had surgery, that is your choice, because you are not obligated to.but one of my close friends said even if its just one surgery, it already makes you "plastic" and obviously anyone would prefer the natural beauty over the one who got surgery. Perhaps you need to start evaluating who you befriend. I would never dream of saying something so mean to someone I call my friend. If my friend told me she wanted eye surgery I would support her in her decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefulbliss Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I completely agree with K Couture and Blasian, if they're judging you or criticizing you for your life choices, then you should really re evaluate whether you want to be with that person. I had a friend who didn't see plastic surgery in a good light (lets say she's out of my life now) but I found it so ironic because she's the type of girl that can't leave the house without a pound of makeup on her face, goes to regular facials, and dyes her hair regularly. She always said that people who get plastic surgery are changing themselves and really vain (but ironically she's doing the same thing by masking herself in makeup and editing her photos). I'm not saying surgery is comparable to makeup, but in the end plastic surgery is just another procedure to improve our appearance, simple as that. We are still the same person as before, so don't let anyone give you a hard time for your choice to get plastic surgery. Its normal for people to have different opinions on plastic surgery and its okay if they don't agree with your decisions if its what makes you happy. But its not okay for them to impose their views on you or criticize you openly. When you meet the right boyfriend in the future, he'll like you for who you are as a person, not what your face looks like, with plastic surgery or none at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iljs92 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Thank you to the 3 of you!! You guys gave me the wakeup call I needed. Sometimes I wished I could meet a lot of you forumers that stick around! So helpful sharing experience and info out of goodness because all this is anonymous. I think I just got really dependent on him in our relationship and it just blew my reasoning away where whatever he said I believed. I feel I lost apart of myself and self confidence after being together but Ill quit talking about the past. Its hard but I wont let his negativity or anyone elses be apart of my life anymore. I dont believe plastic surgery will be a miracle on me but I just want a change for it to improve my features and give me a mini confidence boost to go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avidaquarius Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 The world has always confused me in its ways of defining what is considered socially acceptable and what is not. For instance, we as women are allowed to apply make-up to our faces and temporarily change the contour so we give the illusion that it looks more appealing. Yet, the idea to undergo a treatment to make it a more permanent change is completely taboo. Even tattoos, which are permanent, are more acceptable than surgery. Here is my analogy; "If your car has a dent in it, do you fix it?" Some people do, some people don't. The car still works, but isn't it pleasant to drive a nice looking car? If you have the means to do it, and it makes you feel better, why not? My only thoughts are, If you are going to get surgery, make sure that you are in the right mind set. A person should first accept and love themselves where they are at, before they make the decision to change their exterior. People will always have their judgement, don't make it your problem. Just be happy and love yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nilesy Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 +111111111111111 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibiowl Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I haven't done my surgery yet but I'd probably be VERY open about it, (not that I could even hide it because I'm going for some MAJOR changes). My family already knows that I am planning to do this and they aren't exactly happy about it but I'm sure they will support me when it comes down to it (as long as I pay for it myself, haha). With regards to boyfriends, I'll probably date someone below my "new plastic" league anyway because of lingering self-esteem issues. Like how people who were fat before have lower standards than people were pretty from the start, my standards will probably be much lower so haha, he'll probably accept me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naomi2010 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 People who genuinely love you for you would not care about minor surgery such as plastic surgery. They may give there opinion but ultimately should respect your own wishes. Try to be strong and don't be scare to have to be alone if your boyfriend doesn't like your decision. I think sometimes as females we don't want our partner to be put off with certain choices we make but in actuality; they should love you for who you are on the inside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ulzzang-quest Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 ^+1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ulzzang-quest Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 came across this quote again and thought to post it here: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss btw, first person I told was my mom, and it went something like 'hey mom, since you didn't give birth to me to look like you instead of dad, I'm gonna get some work done" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taraunnie Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I completely agree..I haven't told anyone except my parents and they are kind of (more my mum) are accepting of it now..but they still try to convince me that appearances don't matter as much as personality and that I am beautiful the way I am. I think if people really love you for who you are they will accept your choices and try to overlook them..ultimately at the end of the day, it's still you~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k-couture Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Everytime I read this thread i say to myself "YESSSSS Preachhhh Sistersss" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedeer1 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I don't think it's necessary to tell everyone, especially right away. When you're comfortable with someone you can mention it if the conversation deems appropriate. Of course you have to mention it to those close to you if you're getting ready to go under the knife. I've had several procedures performed and only those close to me knew I was having it done. After the fact, I just like people to think I'm aging well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotty8 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I agree... plus on the other hand, numerous women all over the world wear fake nails, fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake teeth, tons of makeup etc. which is not 'natural beauty' as well. So what, whatever makes you happy, it's your body not theirs And there are a lot of different procedures, so removing a dangerous mole is ok, removing a mole just because it bothers you is 'not ok'? And so on and so on... I think it's a totally personal decision, I wouldn't care what others thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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