lonekitty Posted April 11, 2018 Author Posted April 11, 2018 Hah. Yeah...well, as I am, as aware of how absurd I'm being, I probably would just shrug it off. But actually if I was told that the photos were all accurate and the feedback I got here is good, then my image issues would 100% vanish and I'd become a much happier person. I am still happy about my nose because of what my guy friend told me, but I am convinced that the shadows/plane/fat distribution of my face, as well as the forehead/jaw/midface volume balance is off in a bad way. But of course I no longer have any issues besides those towards these (and my naso folds). I'm trying to be...smarter about my thoughts, holding them at a distance, etc. Trying to be realistic about my flaws...and after analyzing everything properly, studying my face, considering the irl feedback I've been given and here, etc. And I'm gonna see a psychiatrist again soon, the meds will definitely help a lot. These are the main things I want fixed: My eyes; they look very hollow and it's not just the undereye area. Pictures tend to flatten the area, therefore, you guys don't really see the issue. I am unsure about whether or not this is my oddly shaped brow bone aggravating the shadow or some sort of orbital deficiency. Someone suggested that I ought to get orbital rim implants buuut yeah. That's some serious business. Not sure about my forehead bone either; someone irl did suggest that I'd look like a model if I hid my forehead which was a peculiar comment...but as I said before, my hair is too fine to handle bangs. It could also be the shape of my temple/forehead that's the issue, too. It's a shame a brow-shave sounds BRUTAL af, and someone else said that it brings in a all new set of issues with skin sagging, etc. But I'm definitely interested. And my cheek area. I know my cheekbones *are* great, but the balance of my face is off as well as how the fat drapes over my zygoma--the area, with the slight jowl fat that extends outward and lack of cheek volume, looks very awkward and does age me a bit in most lighting or flattens my face--looks especially bad at a distance. I don't believe fillers would be sufficient for the area and would likely be lumpy or degrade unevenly. Respectively, I'm wondering where I should go for deeper cosmetic advice, etc. I'm going to talk with a local surgeon soon but honestly...I'm afraid of what he'll say. It'll be the first time getting feedback from someone in real. Also wouldn't mind some feedback about brow issues. How easy/hard is it to get it shaved down? Is it dangerous? Expensive? Or would it be better to compensate by adding fat to the lower area? And what types of clinics should I even visit for consultations regarding eye and cheek/fat distribution area issues in Korea? And as per usual I don't know what I should get done here in the US; I know caucasian bone structure brings with it a new set of issues. What thread(s) would be helpful for me to visit and ask questions? Trust that I wouldn't bring my melodrama with me. I'd be forced to really think deep about what I need before peeping. I also have been working out more and eating better but still haven't gotten below 150. Oh well! And again my skin has improved a lot, aside from the sickly/hollow look, looking like I'm dying as my dormmate keeps on insisting, etc. (Not a medical problem, lol, I just look like that)
lonekitty Posted April 11, 2018 Author Posted April 11, 2018 Also I want (if I can chill the atmosphere out enough to have this discussion) to talk about weight loss some more and how it effects the face. I already went on several rants about this, fearing that I've only gotten more unattractive because of losing 40 pounds, etc. Maybe this isn't the case, but my dormmates - even when I was obese - were telling me that being skinny wouldn't flatter me, etc. They acted as if me getting fitter was a bad thing. Gave me some f'ed up ideas about my self-image... Even if some faces lose volume through weight loss, can it genuinely lead to a face looking younger? Any personal experience? I know I asked this before but never got anyone to bite.
lonekitty Posted April 11, 2018 Author Posted April 11, 2018 Oh, I'm wondering too. I actually tried that on an impulse a while ago...it was when I had a surge of self-confidence. Wouldn't mind knowing just in case one day I get my issues fixed.
lonekitty Posted December 2, 2019 Author Posted December 2, 2019 Long time no see. I'm better now and out of morbid curiosity glanced back here. I find it QUITE hard to have confidence but came into better terms with realizing what I value out of life isn't facetious acceptance (i.e., by being beautiful and not being told by strangers I'm ugly, etc.) but wholesome experiences and connections with people that have nothing to do with this. I don't cry about the subject anymore though it is stuck in my head that I am, simply, plain and I idly wish I was a bit better looking but don't sweat it. Think this stuff just got to me because of the messy blend of sensitivity, vulnerability and a dysfunctional upbringing (I.e., neglectful household, severe speech delay) snowballing out of control, along with how physically awful I constantly used to feel. A yarnball of pain and stress. Actually, I ended up having surgery on my nose because...well, turned out that it had a severe breathing problem and I couldn't breathe through it at all a lot of the time--this was back in June and...well, since then I have looked a lot less haggard since then as well and my face has filled out from the much better rests I've been getting and sometimes people even think I still look like a teen which...is a shocking development, as before I genuinely was being guessed irl to be much older. I don't believe it but it's an improvement, hah. Anyway, I do wish is that people were more understanding of how people end up getting such deep image issues. Sure, it is mental and psychological and can be improved, but there's so many subconscious biases and societal pressures that people don't fully understand can happen to otherwise decent people. I.e., straight-forward example would be stuff like families blatantly valuing the prettier child over the other without fully realizing it, etc. The natural response tends to be to marginalize the behavior; say that's just a horrible family...but then...a lot of them do this to an extent, even the seemingly kind ones. A lot of people mean well though don't understand that believing looks don't matter doesn't necessarily mean you act like you don't value looks, etc., and it sometimes takes a conscious effort to get away from this. Though that's it; I still found wonderful people I know I can trust and I'm pretty happy today besides the hint of ashy bitterness.
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