perceval Posted February 18, 2018 Posted February 18, 2018 I actually haven't experienced any scaring at all, just super dry skin. It's winter and it's dry here so I have to keep putting lotion on my face. Everyone experiences the stuff a bit differently, like it can change vision for some, make the acne worse than normal, etc. For me, I'm lucky enough to have not experience any of them. Basically I just wash my face with hand soap that isn't scented or with a gentle face wash, use lotion or coconut oil on areas that are dry, and use chapstick for my dry lips. I'm pretty healthy overall (have been my whole life), but I got the look based off of the genetics that were passed down. The hallowness in my eyes are from my dad's side of the family. It's not always about how healthy we are. Keep going at it! You know you'll really benefit from all those things, trust me. It won't just change your looks, but it will give you a good outlook for your future health.
perceval Posted February 18, 2018 Posted February 18, 2018 What, I think you look great in those pictures, especially the one where you look like you're about to burst out laughing! It's sad that you'd put yourself down like that, please gain some confidence here. Who cares about what those people think of you, you don't know them and will never see them again. That's how I see it when people give me ugly looks.
velvettini Posted February 18, 2018 Posted February 18, 2018 My self-perspective is still as bad as ever. haha I'd still like to rip off my face and replace it most of the time. What didn't change/probably won't change without surgery: 1.) I have a certain way I want to appear to people and NOTHING can change my mind about this. So yeah, surgery is a must. 2.) My asymmetry still bugs the heck out of me. All planned surgeries will concentrate on this issue. 3.) Standing in front of the mirror isn't as bad as it was, but photos and videos still make me cry. Always. I would never be able to show them online. Especially the photos from ages 13-18. I eliminated almost every one of them (my mom was very angry about this) and it haunts me in my dreams that former classmates could still have pictures of me... What improved through therapy is: a) The flaws I see do not change by the day anymore. They're consistent and I can pin them down. b) The mirror doesn't distort anymore while I'm standing in front of it (yeah, sounds like horror movie stuff) c) Certain areas about me just can not be changed (shoulder width for example) and I... still hate them but am now able to not dwell on them and instead shift my attention to what I can change d) I can now restrain myself from crying in public when I think someone looked at me with disgust (yup, I am pathetic) I used to be like you and thought that ''having or not having BDD doesn't make a difference, because the flaws are real.'' The thing is, these 5 years of therapy that I only agreed to (or had to, rather) because the BDD and social phobia stood in the way of curing my ablutomania turned out more useful than I wanted to believe. As soon as I get my jaw surgery (I got permission to do this!), I'll finally be able to go to a clinic for psychosomatic rehabilitation to work on the ablutomania. It was impossible for me to go there before because my BDD triggers that stuff (next to my usual washing routine, I also start washing as soon as frustration kicks in) and my social phobia wouldn't even let me speak to a person who wasn't my family. Man, I just want to stop needing mental preparation before leaving the house, disinfecting everything and scrubbing my skin off until it bleeds. It... looks bad and hurts like a *****. Wow. Sorry for that mountain of text. haha This is turning into a therapy thread. The fact that you call yourself 'neanderthal' is... also exactly what I do. I really can't see it in you, though. I'm actually jealous of your face Especially of the fact that your eyes aren't close-set. It's THAT something I'd kill for to have... Mine are so disgusting. I wouldn't have to shift the rest of my face around if that wasn't wrong in the first place. ARGH.
lonekitty Posted February 19, 2018 Author Posted February 19, 2018 @ Hmm, nah, you're just trying to belittle her opinion with random judgments--not to mention belittle my own judgment. I know her, you don't. Plus she has nothing to be jealous of; baby-face, perfect skin with 0 skincare routine, blue eyes, thick waist-length hair, tons of male attention and being hit on. In context there's no rational way she could have been trying to get at me either...and what she said makes perfect sense with pretty much everything else I've ever gotten in real. I do want to believe you but the evidence is limited to text on a screen. No action, or even a real life reaffirmation. It is what it is. And I wasn't posting my face online on those forums, just my body. Just wanted to affirm that I had a hot one regardless of being a little chubby so I can make sure the problem was my face. >.> Still will always cringe in pain when I see that pic. Rip, me. I'll have to get a real referral to even see a therapist. I do want to see one for other issues, anyways, even though the other times I've tried only made me feel worse.
lonekitty Posted February 19, 2018 Author Posted February 19, 2018 Thanks! It's good it's going pretty well. I heard some pretty nasty things about the side effects. For now I was just placed on tret and antibiotics and it's working swimmingly for me, thank god. Huh...I just realized my skincare routine is hilariously complicated. Ah, well, works for me...though it does concern me that you're using hand soap for your face. Could be aggravating the dryness, that stuff's stripping af. I think the hallowness isn't actually that bad on its own--a fat graft seems like it'll last awhile. Or so that's what I'm hoping. Tbh I was incredibly unhealthy along with being fat. Barely drunk any water, ate junk food, etc., 1-20. Even now my diet's a tad shakey. I do hope getting heatlhier does do something.
heylo Posted February 19, 2018 Posted February 19, 2018 Disagreeing with her judgement neither belittles her nor you, although it's sad that you're defending a so-called "friend" who very rudely insulted you. Going by everything you've said here thus far, however, I'll give this friend the benefit of the doubt. You're clearly hell-bent on encouraging others to reaffirm your negative propositions and there's no way of knowing whether she yielded to that type of pressure or not. If she didn't, then part of the issue is the bad crowd you're hanging around with and/or seeking validation from. At your age, you're likely to be part of cliquey social groups but after you've worked for a while, you will hopefully encounter a better calibre of person. You've provided plenty of evidence that shows you're a pretty girl. Having acne or struggling with minor weight gain isn't tantamount to being a monster. Many attractive celebrities suffer from similar and many get minor procedures - nose refinements, etc. That doesn't mean they're unattractive or perceive themselves as genetically defective until these improvements materialise. In short, your perception of these problems and the way you speak about them shows that you're disconnected from reality. That's why I think therapy would be helpful in your case.
perceval Posted February 19, 2018 Posted February 19, 2018 The doctor recommended gentle hand soap, I don't directly use it on my face either haha (I use very little), so everything is okay. The dryness has actually subsided a bit due to the weather change so my skin looks a little more oily than dry right now. It depends on how the doctor layers the fat in the area. If he does structural fat grafting, it'll last longer because the new blood vessels have time to grow into the fat graft. You can read into it here, I took a screenshot of what this one doctor said on realself: https://ibb.co/d0ZybS Fat grafts do last a longtime if done correctly. However, sometimes the fat will be burned away within the first few months and so you might have to go back to the doctor for another touchup, nothing too much though. In all honesty, I ate junk food and still do sometimes eat it here and there. As long as you're balancing it out with other things like exercising and healthier foods (also drinking plenty of water), you should be fine.
lonekitty Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 Okay, got my haircut and though the salon owner did put a lot of care into it, I came out not liking it and preferring what I used to have...tbh though, I don't think I've ever liked a haircut I've gotten, ever, (it's a hazard of having bad hair like me+me preferring the rough natural look) and I'm fine with this one because I'm sure it makes me look a bit more put together. A few of the workers were just standing around watching the cut too. >.> So awkward. Also the last one is a meme pic. Looks like I'm standing at the head of the titanic with my hair blowing in the wind. Probably what killed it for me was being forced to look in the mirror and seeing just how bad my nasolabial shadows were, along with the sunken, suborbital volume loss. I looked so old and droopy. Rip. A worker there suggested that I should go blonder...not sure if she meant it or was just shilling. I'll probably go in for a touch-up, maybe some more bang action.
lonekitty Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 She's been my best friend since I was a little girl, pretty much the only time we hang out is ONE ON ONE - we're not apart of any friend groups - and we're not even apart of any goddamned cliques...ugh, this is getting frustrating. And I literally don't even complain about my appearance around the people I know. And stop with the "see a professional" bs--I literally tried it.. Saw many school therapists and not one ever even remotely tried to make me believe that I wasn't ugly or anything like that. Literally just all "how does that make you feel" and "that must be hard for you". And I tried getting a referral to see a certified therapist off campus - the only one that's close by enough to actually attend without spending insane amounts on transportation costs - and she's full. Found out this week. It took months to get it too. At this point of the school year it's just game over. I can't find anybody and even if I did, it wouldn't really change the fact that my issues are real and I hate them. The referral is the thing that would have mostly paid off the cost of seeing a therapist. Without it, I'd have to pay thousands out of pocket. And I can't see any therapists in the area w/o going through the school insurance and the therapists connected to it. Took a walk through the school forest today and took this one: ...undereye issue paired with nasolabial issue. I look like a zombie. And another one... Again, looking like a crackhead and not just because of the moronic expression. I have a tear trough deficiency and suborbital volume loss, as I've said, and that's what other people have said too. I won't be able to be happy until I get something done. That's a fact. The day I realized I looked dopey and ****ed up and worn out, and that people have been telling me that all this time, was the day I stopped being able to even laugh. And again...if I didn't look in the mirror and see these specific things, I wouldn't be hiding, I wouldn't be crying, I wouldn't be suffering.
lonekitty Posted February 20, 2018 Author Posted February 20, 2018 A doctor recommended that? I see--though I can imagine the skincare addiction subreddit having a field day with that. I'm sure it works well enough tho...I personally just use water. Works better for me for whatever reason than real cleanser. Is there a particular price difference between regular fat grafting and structural?
heylo Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 It's certainly up to you what you do - it's just puzzling to me why you're providing a lot of background info as well as many pics publicly if you don't want people to put forward their own opinions? Maybe you should make a specific request in order to limit feedback to those who agree with everything you say.
kc_134 Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 I just stopped trying to reply. I wanted to help and so have others but I'm just sick of the negative energy of this post. We all continue to say, "Seek alternative options, Seek therapy." It's just a moot point at this point. I agree with you on the photos. Seems like trying to seek validation even though we've said she's beautiful.
granges Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 No one will change her mind but herself.i had the same mindset. Was Told over and over how pretty I was blah blah blah and I never believed it. Lonekitty I just hope that you get the work done that you need to feel confident in yourself. I had my primary surgeries in Korea..and had to have a revision in china on my nose...I will be honest, I am more confident in my looks now be after the revision..but I still have insecurites like wondering if I look 100% natural..or will people know I've had surgery? Or do I look too different etc. So I still have self esteem issues. It's hard to explain but once you have surgeries you will understand. I came to realize that I just needed confidence from the gate Bottom line is you are going to do what you want to do , and you already have your mind made up . You might be hoping deep down to change your mind on going down surgery lane out of fear but you deep deep down feel like you won't be happy unless you see a change I'm not trying to criticize you but you do have a overall negative mindset and that needs to be fixed. You should find a book that helps you become a more positive person. If you are looking for a guy, he doesn't want just a pretty girl on the outside, he wants a pretty soul too. And that starts with the mind. And it takes time to change. But really work on that. I just hope whatever you get done makes you feel happy. And as along as you are doing proper research, you should get optimal results. I spent too much time focusing on how ugly I thought I was and not doing proper research for my primary ..and guess what? I was disappointed. I thought I knew everything but I didn't. Really really research ....ps your hair looks great even though you won't believe me. And you are not wearing makeip and still look pretty. All those gorgeous ig models you see are only stunning due to makeup .most women look average without it.
lorihmatthews Posted February 21, 2018 Posted February 21, 2018 Totally agree. IMO the posters who are continuing to encourage plastic surgery and other procedures aren't doing the OP any favors. The OP won't be happy with plastic surgery, and it is tragic to feel the way she does at 21.
lonekitty Posted February 21, 2018 Author Posted February 21, 2018 Ah, well, you're free to say what you want. Thanks for having kind eyes. I wish more people had em. And I wish I went through some sort of thing in real to actually support what you guys have said, anyone to call me pretty or beautiful, but I have never, so I'm here. I'll only assume that I just managed to take good pictures and that's why your opinions' are so positive. That's it. I am here because I've gotten nothing but abuse over the years and nasty comments. I promise not to get too negative. As of now I mainly request ways of fixing my droopy midface and undereye issue, perhaps with lifting up the eyelid area. In the past year it's lowered a lot for some reason...I was overweight for most of my life so perhaps that has contributed to the issue, along with the others. Ideas so far... Thread face lift, bleph (forgot how to spell it), nonsurgical v line if my fat jaw refuses to budge with more weight loss, microneedling maybe, maybe a hair implant if I get the money, fat graft, a rhino, double jaw surgery.
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