lonekitty Posted January 25, 2018 Author Posted January 25, 2018 Hm. The double jaw surgery...My mom told me that the one time she bought fancy make-up and dolled herself up to go to the club with her friends...she was literally turned away at the door, told she looked like man because of her jaw. I thought it was tragic that happened to her but didn't read into it. Looks like I probably inherited whatever it is. And it's really hard to tell what it is? Here's some more pics, laying down this time so fat distribution isn't an issue. I think I see more of the problem now and the flat zygoma...tho tbh my teeth alignment doesn't seem to indicate an underbite. In fact my low row is set slightly before the upper usually...? I don't know what exactly a double jaw surgery does, but wouldn't the correction basically make my jaw more obvious in my scenario? Maybe just shaving my jaw would be enough. I know there's something wrong, it seems unnatural how it juts out when I smile. Can someone walk me through what the jaw surgery would do in my scenario? Anyways. I'm going to organize things... Will lose 10 pounds before spring break, settling at a comfortable 140. Probably only non-surgical or quick-recovery treatments during the 2-3 week spring break. V-line, skin treatments, non-surgical nose job (still unclear on how this would fix anything tho). I don't know about skin treatments. I have naturally horrible, rough, dull, and sallow, acne-prone skin and years of sun damage from my childhood, but I've been making great progress with my routine and tret medication--I'm actually satisfied there. Whatever will help my undereyes/nasolabial folds is my main concern for now. Someone said asked here that "what if you still get negative comments" and tbh, they wouldn't get to me as much. I mean this; I cringe at photos at myself, but what actually hurts me is the puggish naso/cheek/undereye area. If not for this, I'd be very comfortable living life and wouldn't be so down. Oh yeah. Here's a LA doctor that came up when I looked up v-line surgery: http://www.kimberlyleemd.com/ethnic/v-line-jaw-reduction/ Thoughts? Of course I'm interested in going to Korea in pursuit of getting a baby face but I do want to consider other options. Travel/accommodation expenses are lofty, and I think I want to save it for the summer. And in your opinion, would giving my zygoma feminine definition help balance out my jaw and nose? I'd definitely put more money into this if I knew having cheek volume would be a huge multitasker to improve my looks and make me look my age. And would it possibly be able to slightly improve the lack of suborbital volume, too? Over the summer...I'll consider my jaw and nose, or possibly a fat graft for my undereyes. The more intensive stuff.
lorihmatthews Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 I'm sorry you had bad experiences with therapists. It can be very difficult finding a good one. That said, I do hope that you attempt in the near future to deal with your self-esteem issues, because you still seem to think that your issues will be miraculously fixed after you get large quantities of plastic surgery (aka look "radiant"). You didn't reveal if you took any medication, but I can also tell you that medications only work in 33% of patients and it takes about 6 weeks to see if they're actually working. So that means you have to try a lot of different ones, unfortunately, before you can find one that actually is of benefit. They don't improve you instantaneously. Unfortunately I'm not surprised that the staff at your school didn't help. They are probably not Board certified psychiatrists with tons of experience in CBT, which is what I believe would help you. If you think that surgery is going to fix all your confidence issues, I can tell you that it won't. I think you're heading down the slippery slope of just needing one more procedure/surgery before things are perfect. That perfection doesn't exist. I truly hope that you find peace and heal yourself from the inside, because masking your outside isn't the answer.
glamourous1098 Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 This has nothing to do with surgery, but have you talked to your dentist about getting a mouthguard? I had jaw pain similar to yours and it turned out that I was grinding/clenching my teeth in my sleep. My mouthguard completely eliminated the pain in my jaw that I would wake up - something to consider!
hoeeekage Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Hey @Lonekitty the way we think and see ourselves is so similar. I even met someone online and was considering waiting two years to meet him so that I could get a whole bunch of plastic surgery before! Eventually, I decided that I would rather see him as soon as possible and see if he would accept me exactly as I am and he did ☺️ If he truly loves you, he will think you're beautiful no matter what, and he already has a general sense of what you look like since you've video called him. But I get it, I still wanna do surgery too because it's not for other people, it's for myself. I can't stand the pictures that people take of me, I sometimes get depressed for a whole day thinking "Is that what I actually look like?" I can look at my face and identify every single problem on it and how it can be fixed. I wish this was something more motivational telling you not to do surgery because eventually something will change in you, and I think you're gorgeous, but it'd be hypocritical of me. As of right now I am looking into more non invasive surgery to deal with my weirdly shaped face. Although unnaturally have a large jaw, I wouldn't mind if it wasn't so chubby, so I'm considering an acculift and maybe slight lipo on the jaw and chin area. As for my cheeks, I also have wide flat looking cheeks although they become prominent when I smile so I've been considering getting some sort of hair transplant around my cheek area to try to achieve a thinner looking face. Hair can really do so much for framing the face! My forehead is flat and my eyes are super dark and sunken so I'm considering some fat transplant to those areas to make me look younger and more awake! I also have problems with my nasolabia folds but I haven't figured out what I want to do with them just yet, maybe some fillers or transplant? And the last problem for me is my nose as well. This is the only invasive surgery that I know I want to do as I have an extremely bulbous nose with wide nostrils and a hump. I plan on doing this surgery in america tho unless I can find a surgeon in Korea who will do it for much cheaper with similar results! Anyways, I feel like we should talk as we seem to be in very similar situations!
perceval Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Those are really good for solutions, I myself am starting to think I should try something like that since I have a similar shaped face to both of y'all. I still might go for something a little more invasive but I could change my mind in the distant future.@Lonekitty these could be helpful, I'd take her viewpoint as well, especially since you're focusing on non-invasive surgeries right now.
lonekitty Posted January 30, 2018 Author Posted January 30, 2018 Damn, we are in similar situations! Thanks for detailing everything for us, it's very useful. I've decided to put my all into fixing my nose over the summer. It has bothered me half my life, even when I felt happy and confident. The nostrils and downturned tip...just, no. For example take that photo set...The first one? I can't help despairing at it (excuse my squinting eyes...and yes they're yellow/dull/red a lot...I don't know why). On the other hand the me in the final pic is tolerable? Tbh, I think I could very easily like my appearance with some tweaks. Especially getting rid of the depressed nose. And the nasolabial folds (I guess no one really knows what to do with them...wish we could figure it out!) I think I may have to do a full rhinoplasty over the summer for sure. Not even sure if a tiplasty can fix the trainwreck that is my nose. Outside of that, I think I will do something with fillers over the spring and other nonsurgical stuff to refresh me. I don't think I can continue and be able to emotionally withstand looking like this. It is what it is. Not sure what else we could talk about...I mean, it does intrigue me that you went through the same thing, especially with the online guy. How you two doing now?
hoeeekage Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Hey no problem! I get how you feel, I can't decide whether I should do my nose or the rest of my face first I just feel like my big face and big nose don't balance well with my small lips and small eyes. I'm considering an American rhinoplasty doctor Michael Elam because he's pretty reputable •~• but it'll probably be around $7000 so I'm looking for some Korean surgeons that could do something similar. I'm planning on studying abroad in Korea in a year or two so I have only like 1.5 years to save up ;-; I'm also trying to lose weight to see how that changes my face because my problem is in my chubby lower cheek/jaw area. By the way, we celebrated our 1year anniversary not too long ago It's hard being long distance but it's worth it!
perceval Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Hey that's weird, I'm planning on studying abroad in South Korea myself since the university that I plan on going to highly recommendeds that we go abroad at least once. I'm thinking of staying for about at least a semester or a whole year. The only reason I plan to is because I want to get to know some of the language and the place a bit more. So when I go to get my surgery I will have some experience. It'll make communication and going around the area a lot easier. Also, sorry for budding in on the conversation. ( ˙-˙ ) bye bye
lonekitty Posted February 1, 2018 Author Posted February 1, 2018 Yesterday started out wonderfully despite a lack of sleep. I reconnected with an old friend last night and happily went to sleep; despite only getting 4 hours of sleep I felt pretty good in the morning and was energized by class. We were put into groups for a long-term project and I had so much fun being so proactive and creative and social, making people laugh, etc. I kind of felt happy. Then after class, feeling happy and like things were looking up, that the flaws I had could be "fixed"...I looked in the bathroom mirror and was horrified. Gray/red, sunken undereyes and eyes that droop and for some reason developed another eyelid fold from fatigue alone..those nasolabial folds, so sagging (and I actually almost always have gray/red eyes anyways)...the horrible skin that I thought was getting better but nope, still looks entirely unpresentable and like some sort of trainwreck. Then my actual features to add to the ugliness. I instantly got depressed and felt my eyes welling up even though I'm really not a crier (maybe a 12x a year sorta person)...I rushed over to an isolated tree and cried for a half hour, unable to pick myself up to get home. Took a few pics to hurt myself some more, . Didn't want anyone to see me ever again. Of course I could get "proper" therapy with the money I'd spend on plastic surgery. I just prefer fixing the actual root cause of the issue at this point. The doctor assumed nothing was wrong, told me to take allergy pills (which didn't work) and the labs were fairly clear; I just look fatigued, red/gray/yellow-eyed (regardless of crying my eyes look like that >.>), and everything else is normal. Ow. I actually really wanted it to be a medical problem. But the doctor just shrugged me off. Officially I'm going to move up the date for fillers; I'll skip school for a week (it isn't like I wasn't already missing a few classes because of how bad I feel). I have to get something done. And I definitely can't go on the date I wanted to go on with him at his favorite restaurant...not while I look like this. I don't want to lose him. I just hate feeling like everything with him is some sort of lie even though he certainly has seen me over cam. I remember hearing about some terrible news in high school and I started crying very quietly. Everyone around me gave me this disgusted look. I remember seeing a pretty girl doing the same months ago and everybody comforted/hugged her even though she was shy, just like me. Of course back then I was fatter with worse acne but, yeah, I felt alright about how I looked. Then stuff like that happened...and then this one beautiful girl, described as being an angel by everyone that knew her, made me realize how bad I really looked. My best friend introduced us at Prom; it was dim, I was wearing a prom dress, and my insecurities had surfaced just before them. Baby ones. After all, these little indirect jabs just kept happening, and I begun to connect the dots. This new angel girl and my friend told me I looked like a heartbreaker and were so offended when I said something self-depreciating about myself, etc. Then weeks later this new girl found me again and gave me a disgusted head-to-toe look, and cringed in disgust when she looked at my face--"You looked so...different." The difference? The lighting (flattering and dim) and the dress. Wasn't wearing makeup then, either. I rationalized that it was just my imagination, but when I said "hi" again he simply gave me the evil eye. And ever since then things have gotten worse. I was a monster. Personality didn't matter like I thought it did. I felt so trapped and I never have ever stopped feeling that despair. I guess this isn't the best place to blog, but it's pretty relevant--it is my downward spiral into this journey I've taken up. Summer really can't come soon enough.
granges Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 I honestly see a very pretty girl when I look at your photos. But I understand how you feel. Summer will come by soon enough! Make sure you do enough research instead of dwelling on thinking you are unattractive. Put that energy into learning about every procedure , surgical or non surgical you want. Time will fly trust me. Just be patient
lonekitty Posted February 1, 2018 Author Posted February 1, 2018 Yeah, thanks. I'm not letting myself give in too much to my insecurities even though they do come and go, like a whip. Still am going to properly examine other avenues/lifestyle variables that might be contributing to my issues as well. Maybe working out could help, if only a little. I'll probably have to get a job here too...as emotionally difficult as it is for me to put myself out there, I can't really rely on financing or my savings for everything.
gats Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 You said earlier the root cause is the way you look, that's not true. All the things you've said: not being able to sleep at night, basing your happiness on approval seeking from others, mind reading others are disgusted by you... these things stem from your own mind. Plastic surgery addresses the outside but the outside will constantly change over your life, any such relief you get would only be temporary if you don't address the real root cause which is how you think, how you interpret things now. Let's say there are some people out there who only want to be friends with you based on if you're pretty or not, people who are nice to you only if you're pretty. Why in the world would you want such shallow people as friends? And why are you basing your own happiness on what such people think when this is your life? And if a guy is going to dump you because you have a bad skin day, why would you want to be with such a person the rest of your life? I see a fine looking, normal 21 year old woman when I look at your pics, but inside you're deeply unhappy as you have a distorted view. You mentioned earlier your school therapists weren't any help, okay then keep searching as there are a lot of people out there who dedicate their lives to treating people like yourself, there are people that can help you if you look. You can also work on yourself by reading self help books that are recommended for people with anxiety and depression, there's also videos on youtube of people who've gone through when you are experiencing and they talk about how they got better, the help is out there. Please get help, a little filler or surgery to your face isn't going to fix this.
lonekitty Posted February 2, 2018 Author Posted February 2, 2018 Unfortunately those people weren't all that shallow...they were pretty normal. I think we're all built to marginalize such behavior as being outside of the norm when...it really is not; it's the same story. The visual information people read off a person is the deciding factor in almost everything; the amount of opportunities you're given. Maybe someone looks like a crackhead or a smoker (I've gotten that comment before in a joke before), etc., etc. If I am unattractive, it means I'm more likely to come off as creepy if I'm just shy. Unfortunate. Impressions are almost everything. And I want everyone to know who I am just by looking at me, and I want to be able to change it. I want that power. I don't want to feel helpless ever again. "Bad skin day"--that's an understatement too, I've so many other issues. Hey, how many cases have you heard of an ugly girl getting with an attractive man? True love ain't blind. Anyway. I just want to love who I want to love. Be who I want to be (and live out my youth properly). I want to be a force of nature in several levels. And I don't want to be just "fine" either...that's exactly what my dormmate said last year, giving me a troubled look, with my severe acne, poor fashion, and 200 pound weight. "Fine" might as well be an insult, and it is, really. I might be a more pessimistic case than some other girls seeking out surgical help. However, I'm far from the worse...I'm just one of the few that just can't shut up or hide anything. But I do hear you out. I get it. There's just no way I have access to anything remotely convincing compared to the truth, or my experiences. The world's just a mean place and I have no qualms about changing myself in order to get the upper hand. I have no other hope. It's done. If I were pretty I wouldn't have suffered...it's as simple as that.
purplesky123 Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 OMG, I had to make an account just to reply to you. I have never met someone JUST like me ever and with the same concerns/personal views about themselves. Except I feel like I am much worse in this case. I totally understand that you have this image of yourself in your mind of what and who you can be and you will be so happy to be this new person, me too. I have this look I want to achieve more than anything, hell for me I am more into looking younger than prettier per sey but of course I want to change myself to achieve both, cuteness and youth. Honestly you are so pretty, I know you cant see it but to me you are. You have really nice hair and gorgeous EYES. I am actually hideous and I am 23 so me and you are like the same age. I also feel like I look like a man, my jaw is atrocious. I have been told by so many guys " Wow you have a strong Jaw-line". When I take pictures, especially selfies, I used to cry myself to sleep. My face would look super long, my eyes would bulge out and my jaw was just, oh god. Then I realized that the lens was actually distorting my features and making me look much different than I really was, so I started taking more "professional" images with a mirrored angle too, to get the most accurate self image to see how others view me in the real world and BAM, I liked what I see a lot better but I still have a lot that I dislike. Hell I even thought about purchasing a reverse mirror that costs about 200 dollars just to be more accurate, since mirrors are reversed images of ourselves. I too want to have a BABY face and look a lot younger. I have searched everywhere and that is when I stumbled on Korean plastic surgery. They amazed me so much. I played around with plastic surgery apps and other softwares where I can change my face in ways to look the way I wanted to, or look as young as possible and now I know exactly what I need. I need certain areas of my cheeks to be filled, under eyes also and nose to be titled to a precise angle. I too have a very droopy nose that I hated all my life, I look and feel like squidward. I have literally spent years just studying my face to know whats wrong with it. As if all this isn't enough for my messed up psych and mental health, I realized something recently. I look JUST like my dad, a spitting image of him. It hit me one morning as I starred into the mirror, I actually screamed. I cried immediately, not only do I look like a grown MAN but I look like the very being who I hate more than anything in the universe. The very being who destroyed all my self confidence and self worth. At this point I would do ANYTHING to change this face. I know a lot of people here don't understand that what we see is REAL and we know what is wrong with us. Honestly if it will at least make us feel a tad bit better, we should do it but here is what I have to tell you. I have literally been researching these procedures for so long but I realized something. I wouldn't go for invasive surgery right away, I am starting slow, with fat grafts and small alterations and then go from there. I also realized ALOT of these photos (before/afters) are taken from very similar angles over and over again by all these patients and all of them have a TON of filters on so I try to look for the photos with 0 filters and see what the true results look like and honestly, a lot look horrible!! I know a lot look so realistic and good, but after studying these images for over 2 years now, I can pick out the real ones and the heavily altered ones. I can PM you some images without filters where the person actually likes their results, which is good, but I can see something very wrong. I can help you see what you want in yourself without invasive procedures and you can tell me if I am right or wrong. For instance, there was this one girl (Caucasian) who got her jaw done and she was happy but it looked very off, like disconnected from the sides. The things is, a lot of these surgeons don't operate on Caucasians. I am Caucasian as well, and so are you so there is a concern here as well. Their facial built/structure is a little different than ours. I can edit your photos for you and help you out as I know exactly what you are looking for, because I am too. Private message me and we are in this journey together. I promise you, you need to start off slow. From your images, you should start off with a facial fat graft. You said your nose bothers you a lot, you can get a very minimal CLOSED rhino so the incision wont even show at all, where the tip is SLIGHTLY lifted, that's it. Hell I have even saved a list of the best surgoens for Rhinos and trust me, when it comes to the nose, DO NOT DO IT IN KOREA. They are NOT good with Caucasian noses. You can consider anything else there, but not your nose. It costs so much more here but there are AMAZING rhino surgeons like vladimir grigoryants, google his before afters....he will understand a Caucasian nose and how to alter it. You don't want to end up with a piggy nose or a highly pinched nose that ends up looking unnatural. I have a TON of research knowledge and things saved here for my journey and would love to share some insight with you and help you out because we are very similar and I don't want you to ruin your face, you need slight alterations and if you want more, you can always add after. Don't go too far and then regret it. Hell we might even travel together if you want. I also know you summed up the courage to post your pictures hoping someone will understand and see what you see, you are just fed up by now. I know, I understand because I am exactly the same. Ok I wrote sooo much here. I will wait for your pm. I can also pm you photos of me to show you how I feel too. =) I am sending love, hugs and LOTS of support your way.
lonekitty Posted February 4, 2018 Author Posted February 4, 2018 Oh gosh, hi, sister from another mother. o: Hugs and support back at ya too. I won't PM yet because it isn't like I'm rushing into this; it's still months away, sadly, so I'm half-biding my time and weighing out my options here. But yeah we will talk privately soon! Concerns first; about the minimal rhinoplasty, how's the price compared to a regular rhino and would it be able to do anything about my flared nose? I just *get* everything you said about not agreeing with the way you look, people just not *getting* why we care so much. Once a guy might have implied that the sole reason he wouldn't date me is my "severe jaw" (ofc he could have been talking about 2 other girls but I assumed it was me) so I can even relate there. Seems like you have even more of a reason to do this...having a face similar to the man you hate? Daaamn. Feel free to vent about it here if you want; this is officially the freedom of angst thread. And...yeah, I have that weird jaw and nose issue too in my pictures, especially on webcam... They're so weird honestly because I ALWAYS look SO different in them. Well, 1 and 2 are actually snips from the first and only webcam video I took--in front of a window. 3 is where my real issue appears; I don't know if it's the angle, lighting, or what, but it basically encapsulates everything I hate about my appearance and inflates them or something. I was slouched on the bed and the camera was a little lower but it looks like my jaw is waaaaay bigger. Also, my brow looks substantially more caveman esque. Oh. And #4 resembles more how I usually look in the mirror. Can someone shine some light on this? Is it really the angle, or the hairstyle the different+lighting? Yes the X Files theme is playing each time I look at my pics. Anyways, I think I really just want to look like my ideal me. The striped robe portrait for example...along with maybe the front portrait with the nice eyelashes and soft lighting (even if I do look f'ed up)...even features, no weird shadows, naso folds. No nose that makes me look dopey. No sunkenness around the eyes that almost negates what prettiness they may even have. Stuff like that. Oh. And the jaw thing. Whatever is wrong with it. I want to look younger in a *sustainable* way; for the surgeries to really pay off in the long run and help me age better. Cuter too, really...I want to get as far away from homely and goofy looking as possible. >.< Also I asked over on Realself about my nasolabial folds and this was recommended... I suggest a combination approach of fillers and sculptra to help your folds volume but you will need lifting and contouring as well. For facial rejuvenation I would suggest a combination approach of : 1) skin care with products and PRP/microneedling 2) PDT light therapy few times a month with growth factors 3) laser treatments like clear and brilliant regularly and a few times a year Fraxel, Viva, Co2/Erbium 4) Sculptra injections a few times a year for collagen production with fillers like juvederm/restylane/belotero/radiesse/bellafill 5) thermage/ultherapy for yearly skin tightening with or without PDO or cone based instalift threads for lifting 6) botox every 2-3 months to stop movement lines and prevent lines at rest ...I cringed so hard. God, I just wanna fix my nasolabial folds as soon as possible and it seems so hard. What are your guys' take on it?
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