rosyisgone Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 Sorry for the depressing post. I feel at the end of my rope, I and don't know where to turn to or if there's any hope left for me. I'm only in early 20's, but my face was ruined through 3 consecutive botched surgeries in Korea. I did months of research for each surgery and only chose experienced surgeons with no bad reviews but I was still botched. The worst part is, in my case all the revision surgeons I have consulted are saying it is complicated and there's not much they can do to fix. To remove the ugly fat graft all over my face is impossible. I understand it's my own fault for wanting to do plastic surgery in the first place and I feel God is trying to punish me for pursuing beauty. When I was 19, I underwent a minor surgery in the US (I'm Asian American). I went from cute to really pretty, and I started being more social and my life improved a lot because I was more confident with myself. I had a passion for everything and loved my life. I should have stopped then. Instead I looked for ways to look better and started researching surgeons in Korea. I got 3 surgeries there (the latter 2 to fix the first one). I now have super unnatural fat graft all over my face (it's been a year so the fat's not going away) and my mandibles are over-shaved and uneven so my face looks old and sagging. I don't know what to do. I hate myself for putting myself through this. But I also feel so wronged because despite communicating what I wanted to my surgeons each time, they operated on me according to their own opinion. I'm extremely depressed and I not only lost my looks but my identity. I feel like the shell of a person I was before. My family is heartbroken for me, and my friends all think there's something wrong with my face but they don't know what I went through. I lost the love of my life and my passion for everything. If there was a way to fix my face I would work so hard to achieve it, otherwise I don't see a point in living anymore. I lost everything. I have been praying and hoping I can get my old face and my life back and now I'm just living like a robot. I'm so done with Korean plastic surgery and even hearing that word gives me anxiety. If any of you kind souls could offer any sort of help I would appreciate it so much. I'm still so young and I don't want my life to end But I can't keep on living looking like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dot Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 Really hurts to hear stuff like this You can reconstruct your mandible with implants. there’s a clinic in Korea that only does reconstruction after botched bone shaving surgeries ran by Dr. Baek. You can also visit American surgeons for custom implants too since you don’t want to deal with Koreans anymore, but I think he has the most experience with reconstruction since most bone shaving cases are done in Asia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justdimples Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 Which clinics and doctors did you go to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicali Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 My heart breaks for you. You are not alone. Thousands of women (and men), if not millions, are dissatisfied after undergoing some sort of cosmetic procedure or surgery. If you are not a member of the Real Self community, I suggest perusing the forum. I don't know any specifics pertaining to your case. But, here is some general advice. First, give your body a full 24 months before subjecting it to additional trauma. You are young and time is on your side. Second, it is imperative that you find an ethical surgeon, which is equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack. I know of one in my area. His name is Val Lambros. His practice is located in Newport Beach, CA. I am fairly confident he would be able to provide an honest evaluation and realistic treatment plan. Third, this is not the end of the world even though it certainly feels that way. Please see a professional to help manage your depression. You are going through something that is emotionally draining. You need to be mentally stable in order to make well-reasoned decisions. Best of luck. Hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelovelove07 Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 This storm will pass soon!! There is always a rainbow, a light, sunny days after any storm!! please hold on! you have only one life please cherish it and hold on to it! There is plenty of help out there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papertiger Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 After reading your post I am very moved. I hope this post and your experiences will make some others pause for thought on undergoing elective surgery. It's a huge undertaking and totally risky, people can only minimise it, but the risk will always be there. Even after successful surgery (like your fist) people are still not satisfied. Perhaps appearance is not where the unhappiness stems from? Your reflection on recent past's events is very honest, even though you are obviously struggling. It's very brave of you to 'go public'. Your family obviously love you and cherish you, I am glad they have been supportive. Although we cannot see you, from your history it may be that you are quite hyper-critical about your appearance as so many young adults naturally are. What we look like or our view of our perhaps question past decisions should not be our sole indicator of self-worth. Give yourself a little break, don't panic, in a couple of months consult with reputable doctors who can perhaps help you in the future. Give yourself hope as a present for today, tomorrow you can start panning your future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabuleux Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s very courageous and it may help other tpf readers who may be considering getting plastic surgery. Obviously you are very upset and depressed, which is totally understandable, but remember that there is much more to you than a pretty face: you have a brain and a heart. You have a lot to offer this world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortunecat Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 For mandible aka jaw angle, you can read this thread: https://beautyhacker.com/forums/topic/999808-reconstructing-botched-jaw-line-with-the-face-dental/page-1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ra114926 Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 Hey girl! Fellow Asian American and in my mid 20's here. I rarely comment on here but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. For most of my life I've had body dis-morphia and I still struggle every day. My best friend is a social worker, and she recommended I see a psychologist. While its only been a few weeks, and I will always have the same thoughts, its a good feeling to vent to someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosyisgone Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 Thank you so much for your advice and recommendation of an ethical surgeon. I go on Realself from time to time to see what options I have for my situation, but I'm going to give myself some time to heal first and try to take care of my general health in the mean time. I also need to work for the extra money needed for a through revision plus travel fees. I understand it's not the end of the world and I have to keep living for my loved ones. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosyisgone Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 I definitely hope my thread will help others realize the dangers of cosmetic surgery, especially travelling to a country where you are not fluent in the native language because it's supposed to be better. I was too idealistic and trusting and I was so full of hope when I went for surgery because I thought I had done adequate research and chose a reputable surgeon. Even if someone chooses a surgeon with all good reviews, things might still go wrong. I realized most surgeons are businessmen first and foremost and don't give a crap about the actual person getting the surgery. The whole thing is a shady business. I'm going to take care of my health for a few months because I'm still healing from all of this. I will work during this time and hopefully I will find an empathetic surgeon when I'm more financially stable. Thank you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papertiger Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 That's totally sensible. I know that we all wish you the very, very best rosy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosyisgone Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 Thank you so much. I'm really moved after reading the heartfelt replies on this forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicala Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Thanks to be brave enough to share your experience with us. I’m so sorry for what happened to you I’m getting surgery soon in Korea and I feel very nervous I also have done tones of ressearches and have a good feeling about the surgeon but as you said we cannot be safe when it’s about surgery... all kind of things can happen.. i really hope you will feel better Try to stay positive please... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missy_sana Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 @rosyisgone Now that you have finally made this kind of realization about plastic surgery, this "acceptance" mindset is probably the greatest healer of all in your path to recovery. The (old) Rosy may be gone, but a new stronger survivor lives on to fight for justice. Don't die in vain. Fighting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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